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Divorce is a common experience, but that doesn’t mean that the average person really understands what a Texas divorce involves. In fact, divorce’s commonness has led to a proliferation of urban legends and myths surrounding the divorce process.

Some of what you hear may be accurate in another state. Other times, it may have been true years ago but has changed due to changes in the law. Some claims simply have no basis in reality whatsoever. When you understand the truth of the five myths listed below, you may feel less nervous about moving forward with a divorce.

Myth #1: You have to blame everything on your spouse


Being the parent with primary custody means that you have responsibility for all of your children’s basic needs. The child support you receive helps you keep a roof over the children’s heads. It helps pay for the groceries and cover the costs of your utilities so that everyone is safe and comfortable at your home.

Realistically, child support probably doesn’t cover the full cost of those basic needs, let alone the additional expenses that come with having kids like replacement backpacks after someone throws up in one or unexpected orthodontia.

The child support that you do receive will likely play a crucial role in your ability to balance your budget every month as the custodial parent. It can be difficult to be financially dependent on someone else. If your ex loses or quits their job, can they just stop paying child support to you?


Personality disorders are deeply rooted patterns of behavior that somehow diverged from how the average person behaves. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a relatively common condition.

Those with NPD may use others to get what they want. They also probably have a massively inflated sense of self-importance. They generally feel like they can do no wrong and that the world owes them something.

Narcissists are often very manipulative and good at controlling what they show to others. It may have taken many years of marriage before you started to see the signs of your spouse’s NPD. Whether they have a formal diagnosis or a vicarious diagnosis through your therapist or similar professional, their condition will impact what your divorce will be like for you.


Stress can do a pretty big number on your immune system — and that’s bad news if you’re going through a divorce. Studies have shown that the more stressful a divorce ends up being, the more likely it is that the participants will end up sick.

Simply put, the human adrenal system is designed to cope with short bursts of stress — not the kind of daily grind that comes with a long, difficult divorce. That kind of stress gradually triggers problems with your cortisol levels and makes it harder to stay healthy. How do you cope? Here are some suggestions from the experts:

  1. Eliminate as many unknowns as possible. You can cope better with your situation and your future when you know what to expect. Find out everything you can about the divorce process and your rights as early as possible.
  2. Be willing to accept life on life’s terms. You may not like what’s happening, but you can’t change it. You need to accept that your life did not take the path you anticipated and start moving forward on the new path.
  3. Eat right, sleep right and exercise. It may sound trite, but these three things really do contribute greatly to your overall well-being and health, both mentally and physically.
  4. Know your goals and keep them in mind. If your primary goal is to get out of a bad marriage as quickly as possible, you may be able to take a very different approach to your divorce, for example, than someone who is worried about their financial stability and issues like spousal support and marital assets.

Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s your attorney, a parent, your siblings or your friends, find the people you can rely on and let them know what you need.

“You can’t live with them — and they don’t want you to live peacefully without them, either.” That’s probably the best way to describe the situation when you’re divorcing a narcissist.

While most divorces (about 95%) end up being settled without litigation through some combination of negotiation, mediation and collaboration, you can’t expect a divorce with a narcissist to go that way. In fact, you should probably anticipate ending up in court.

The nature of a narcissist’s psychological disorder almost guarantees that they’ll approach the situation as if there can only be one winner — and they’re determined to be it. They may also use a court battle to force you to keep engaging with them and get your attention. They also frequently like the sense of power they get from aggravating you with motion after motion and dragging you into court over yet another issue.

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