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Thinking about divorce? Ask yourself a few questions first

 Posted on April 24, 2019 in Divorce

The decision to divorce is, arguably, a much harder decision than the one you made when you got married. When people decide to get married, they’re full of optimism and dreams of a future together. When they’re contemplating divorce, they tend to be keenly aware of what feels like “wasted time” and the loss of their dream life.

So, are you really ready for a divorce? Should you stay a little longer and give things one more try? Here are some questions you need to consider before you decide to divorce:

1. Do you find yourself unable to tolerate just about anything your spouse does?

For example, maybe your spouse was always a bit of a slob — and you tolerated the cascade of papers, shoes and abandoned coffee cups as just one of his quirks. Now, however, you find yourself furious at every dropped towel or forgotten pair of socks.

When everything your spouse does irritates you, that may be your “inner self” creating some emotional distance because you know you just don’t want to be married any longer.

2. Would you rather be doing anything other than spending time with your spouse?

Have you buried yourself in work because you really don’t look forward to going home? Do you find yourself spending all your free time with your friends or relatives — away from your spouse? Do you dread evenings at home because you know your spouse is going to try to engage you in conversation?

Those are signs that you’ve probably drifted so far away from your spouse on an emotional level that there’s really no coming back. You simply lack interest in your spouse’s life anymore — even though you’re still nominally sharing life together.

3. Have you started to picture life without your spouse — or, maybe, with someone else?

Even if you haven’t been unfaithful, the mere fact that you can consider it is a sign that you’re mentally moving on from your spouse — and deeply unsatisfied with your relationship in the first place. Even if you’re just starting to happily daydream about what it would be like to start over without your spouse — alone — that’s a sure sign that your marriage is likely over.

If you find yourself answering these questions in the affirmative, our office can help you find a reasonable, practical solution for your divorce.

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