Posted on August 14, 2020 in Child Custody

You love your child — and you hate to see them emotionally overwrought because of anything. That’s why it’s absolutely gut-wrenching when you have to peel their fingers off your shirt and pass them over, sobbing hysterically, to your ex-spouse for visitation.

What can you do? You know your ex-spouse isn’t a bad parent, but your child simply reacts badly to the changes that come along with the visitation schedule because of their age or stage of development right now. Here are some tips that may help your child cope:

1. Control your own anxiety

There’s a possibility that you’re actually sending your child nonverbal cues that signal your own anxiety. Maybe you just hate the thought of your child not being with you 100% of the time, or maybe you get worried that your ex-spouse won’t parent as effectively as you do. Either way, your child can pick up on your fears. That can amplify their own.

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 Posted on August 06, 2020 in Divorce

Stress can do a pretty big number on your immune system — and that’s bad news if you’re going through a divorce. Studies have shown that the more stressful a divorce ends up being, the more likely it is that the participants will end up sick.

Simply put, the human adrenal system is designed to cope with short bursts of stress — not the kind of daily grind that comes with a long, difficult divorce. That kind of stress gradually triggers problems with your cortisol levels and makes it harder to stay healthy. How do you cope? Here are some suggestions from the experts:

1. Eliminate as many unknowns as possible. You can cope better with your situation and your future when you know what to expect. Find out everything you can about the divorce process and your rights as early as possible.

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 Posted on July 31, 2020 in Child Custody

Imagine this: You and your ex have a child together. Your relationship with your ex remains amicable despite the breakup because you both care deeply about your child. Eventually, your ex moves on and gets into another relationship. It turns serious — but then your ex is killed in a tragic accident. Suddenly, your ex’s new love interest is suing you for custody of your child — and a judge gives it to them.

Sounds insane, right? Well, that’s exactly what happened to one Texas father after his ex — the mother of his child — died in a car wreck. Her fiance, who had lived with the mother and child for a while, asked the court for partial custody of the little girl over the objections of the biological father and his new wife. The lower court granted the fiance’s petition — ultimately forcing the child’s father to take the case all the way to the state’s Supreme Court.

In what has been called “the most significant parent rights case in Texas history,” the Supreme Court said that the trial court relied on the “best interests of the child standard” when it made its decision. That’s standard in all custody cases. However, the higher court ruled that the trial judge, in essence, substituted the court’s opinion about what was best for the little girl in place of what the child’s own father believed was best for the little girl.

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 Posted on July 23, 2020 in Divorce

“You can’t live with them — and they don’t want you to live peacefully without them, either.” That’s probably the best way to describe the situation when you’re divorcing a narcissist.

While most divorces (about 95%) end up being settled without litigation through some combination of negotiation, mediation and collaboration, you can’t expect a divorce with a narcissist to go that way. In fact, you should probably anticipate ending up in court.

The nature of a narcissist’s psychological disorder almost guarantees that they’ll approach the situation as if there can only be one winner — and they’re determined to be it. They may also use a court battle to force you to keep engaging with them and get your attention. They also frequently like the sense of power they get from aggravating you with motion after motion and dragging you into court over yet another issue.

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 Posted on July 16, 2020 in Firm News

All marriages have their ups and downs. Nevertheless, if your union seems to have a greater number of bad days than good ones, marriage counseling may be an option. While couples therapy usually does not fix everything, it may be a convenient way to solve many of the problems with your marriage.

You can probably trust your marriage counselor to do his or her best. If you and your spouse commit to working with the counselor, you may improve your marriage. Still, couples counseling does not always stave off divorce. Here are three signs marriage counseling may not be working for you.

1. Your spouse is already done

When couples counseling works, spouses often wish they had started it significantly earlier. If you wait too long, though, your spouse may have already decided to call it quits. Continuing with counseling may not only waste your time, but it may also needlessly deplete your financial resources.

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 Posted on July 14, 2020 in Family Law

Adoption is a great way for a family-in-fact to become legal family. It’s used all the time in cases involving parents and minor children. But what if you want to adopt an adult? Can you do that in Texas?

You can. As long as the adult you want to adopt consents to the adoption. The process is actually fairly simple:

• You file the adoption petition. If you are married, your spouse must also be part of the petition and agree with the adoption.
• The adult you wish to adopt must consent in writing to the adoption.
• Both the petitioner (you) and the adult you wish to adopt usually must attend the hearing (although the court can waive that requirement if there’s a good enough reason)

Once the process is complete, the adopted adult is legally your child. (Bear in mind, this terminates the legal ties and inheritance rights that adult child may have with their biological parents.)

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 Posted on July 09, 2020 in Child Custody

Rearing a child is hugely rewarding — but it isn’t easy. Every parent struggles with the decisions they have to make. That struggle can be compounded, however, when a parent is divorced and you and your ex-spouse aren’t on the same page about your parenting plans.

If you’re in the process of developing a custody schedule and parenting plan with your ex, the best way to avoid a big problem down the line is to anticipate potential disagreements now — before the situation turns critical (and gets heated).

Here are some of the issues you may want to address in your parenting plan:

• Medical care, including whether to use traditional medicine or homeopathic treatments most of the time, whether to vaccinate or not
• Mental health treatments, including the use of medication for behavioral problems or ADHD

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 Posted on July 02, 2020 in Divorce

Nobody really ever wants a divorce — they just want to be happy. If you’ve figured out that happiness definitely isn’t with your spouse, however, a divorce is the way you’ve got to go.

Just try to avoid the following mistakes during the process:

1. Don’t start out being aggressive.

Unless you want your situation to get really ugly really fast, take a cooperative approach toward you spouse when it comes to the split. Instead of rattling off a list of demands or making threats, ask your spouse if you can work together to make the split as easy on each other as possible. If this approach fails, there’s plenty of time for an aggressive stance later.

2. Don’t make any major lifestyle changes.

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 Posted on June 26, 2020 in Child Custody

In Texas and other states alike, temporary orders are used to establish some operating terms while a couple goes through a divorce. They can allocate the use of the marital home and cars, establish support amounts and even determine who pays what share of the household bills until the divorce is settled.

Since these orders are just temporary pending a deeper exploration of the disputed issues, how much should you be concerned about the temporary orders that are put in place regarding custody of the children?

Plenty. First of all, it can take a long time for a divorce to be finalized, especially if there are conflicts. Custody of the children is always decided on whatever is in their best interests. It’s entirely possible that a judge will decide that the kids — after a year or so of living under the temporary orders — are already accustomed to the current arrangement and their routine shouldn’t be disrupted with any changes. That could put you in an uphill battle if you want to make any changes.

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 Posted on June 19, 2020 in Divorce

You know that your marriage isn’t a happy one, but did you know that it’s probably also damaging to your health?

Researchers say that being in a high-conflict relationship where disagreements over things like hobbies, the kids, the in-laws or the bills are common can actually hurt you physically, not just emotionally. While people in relatively agreeable unions tend to live longer and stay healthier than single people, the same is definitely not true for those who are unhappily wed.

If your spouse isn’t supportive of you or is outright difficult to live with, that can lead to an increase in your body’s inflammatory response. It can also affect how much cortisol, or stress hormones, are flooding your body on a daily basis. In turn, that can affect everything from the health of your heart and to how well you’re sleeping or eating.

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