Posted on March 06, 2020 in Child Custody

There’s a thin line between love and hate — and that’s never more obvious than when someone channels all of their anger, grief and disappointment at a failed marriage into demonizing the spouse they supposedly once loved. When they involve the children in that process, ultimately playing games with their affection and turning their ex-spouse into the enemy of all, that’s parental alienation.

Parental alienation doesn’t just hurt the victimized parent. It also damages the psyche of the children involved in permanent ways. It usually destroys or deeply damages their relationship with one of their parents for good and does not make for a loving, supportive childhood — which naturally affects their adult lives.

But parental alienation doesn’t occur in “normal” divorces. Psychologists say that it most often occurs when one spouse is either narcissistic or has borderline personality disorder. The narcissist tends to only focus on their needs and their desires and their perceptions of events. They cannot see things from other people’s points of view, so they expect everyone (even their children) to adopt their views. Since they see their ex-spouse as “evil” or “bad,” the children must, of course, see that parent the same way.

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 Posted on February 28, 2020 in Divorce

There are many reasons to seek a divorce, but if you have the misfortune to be married to a narcissist, you may expect the process to be even more problematic than it otherwise would be.

The reason for this is that most divorcing couples try very hard to avoid the contention and acrimony of a protracted court battle. But for the narcissist, this doesn’t matter nearly as much as winning — at all costs. Read on for some things to know when divorcing a narcissistic spouse.

They love to play games

Narcissists maintain power in their relationships by keeping their spouses off-balance. They will use their charm and wits to attempt to game the system. Filing frivolous motions, seeking delays and leveling false accusations all prolong the divorce and burn up your money.

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 Posted on February 20, 2020 in Divorce

People get divorced for all kinds of reasons — but at least one of those reasons has to serve as “grounds” for the divorce. In Texas, the grounds on which your divorce is based can have a significant effect on your actual divorce process, so it’s smart to understand your options.

No-fault divorce

Like most other states, Texas allows for a “no-fault” divorces. If you and your spouse have been living apart for at least three years, you can use this option. Even if you haven’t, you can still file a no-fault divorce on the basis that your “marriage is insupportable due to discord.” It isn’t necessary to spell out the specific problems that you and your spouse have with each other, which makes this one of the most compassionate and practical ways to end a marriage.

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 Posted on February 13, 2020 in Firm News

Facing life after divorce is often an intimidating prospect. For some, it can be downright frightening–but you can overcome your doubts and fears.

Here are three tips for making practical strides forward and managing life after divorce:

1. Find the inner you

The fact that you are no longer part of a couple, that you are now a single person, may seem like a daunting reality, but this is the perfect time to redefine yourself. What have you been missing? Explore new interests and new hobbies. Staying busy will help you right the ship and get on with your life. You have more time for yourself now, and that can be a revelation.

2. Build a support network

You do not have to navigate choppy post-divorce waters alone. Allow a good friend to help by accompanying you to lunch or a movie. Join a fitness club or a reading group. Volunteer at a hospital or museum. You may want to join a support group to meet others who are working their way through the aftermath of divorce. Expand your support network, and draw strength from others.

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 Posted on February 11, 2020 in Family Law

Your relationship didn’t last, but you and your ex-partner do have a child together. Does it really matter if you establish the child’s legal paternity?

It does. The consequences of not taking this step can affect your child even beyond your lifetime. Here’s what you should know.

How is paternity established?

When a child’s parents are unmarried, the two most common ways to establish paternity are through an Acknowledgement of Paternity (AOP) or a DNA test. Whether court-ordered or done voluntarily, many would-be fathers prefer to have a DNA test taken just to resolve any potential issues about a child’s biological heritage.

Why is legal paternity important?

Establishing a child’s paternity has both legal and emotional benefits. The main ones include:

• A sense of identity and belonging: It can make it easier for a child born to unwed parents to be accepted by extended family, especially on the father’s side.

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 Posted on February 06, 2020 in Divorce

Texas divorce courts are a little busy right now. That’s not particularly surprising, given that much of the nation experiences a surge in the number of newly filed divorce petitions around this time of year.

Why does it happen so regularly (and predictably) every year? Most attorneys say that it comes down to several different reasons, depending on the couple:

• Some couples have already agreed to divorce before the new year starts. However, they don’t want to break the news to their children, family or friends until the holidays are over because they know the situation will detract from the holiday celebrations.
• Some people quietly come to the realization that they’re unhappy and use the new year as a starting point for their “new selves.” Much like a commitment to get healthier, eat better or exercise more, deciding to finally leave an unhappy marriage is part of their New Year’s resolutions.

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 Posted on January 31, 2020 in Child Custody

Texas laws can be somewhat unique — including the rules surrounding child custody. The terminology used and the way that custody is divided in this state may surprise you.

Here are some of the basics you need to know about child custody issues in Texas:

It conservatorship, not custody.

In this state, you don’t gain custody of a child. You are named the child’s conservator. Conservatorship is decided based on what the court determines is in the best interests of the children.

There’s more than one kind of conservatorship.

Conservatorship gives you the right to access your child’s school records, medical record and other important information related to their wellbeing. It also gives you the right to consent to medical treatment and other important issues.

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 Posted on January 23, 2020 in Family Law

When you’re going through a divorce, sitting down at a table and trying to negotiate with your spouse may sound like the very last thing you want to do.

Here’s why you should consider divorce mediation anyway:

Mediation can save money.

There are a lot of costs associated with divorce — and you naturally want to minimize them where you can. Typically, litigation costs a lot more than mediation. The amount of time you spend with your attorney or the mediator is going to be far less than what you would have to spend if your case has to go before a judge.

Mediation allows for tailored solutions.

If you take your divorce case to court, you can generally expect the judge to apply rules that don’t take into account any of the unique issues you and your family may have. One great thing about mediation is that it allows for carefully tailored solutions that actually work in real life.

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 Posted on January 17, 2020 in Divorce

One thing that hits people hardest during a divorce is the expense of the process. Aside from filing fees, there may be expenses for realtors, appraisers, tax professionals and more. Every negotiation over how to divide the assets or what visitation and custody should look like takes time — and time costs money.

While there can be a huge variation in the amount that any couple pays for their divorce, it’s natural to wonder how much a divorce is likely to cost you. Unfortunately, there’s a bit of bad news for Texans: The state is one of the most costly when it comes to ending a marriage.

While it only costs a few hundred dollars to actually file for a divorce, the average cost of a divorce that doesn’t involve minor children is $15,600. If you do have children, that average cost shoots up dramatically — to about $23,500. That’s the fifth-highest cost in the country for both categories. (If you want to know who has it the worst, that’s Californians. The higher cost of living in the state is likely behind the extra expense.)

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 Posted on January 16, 2020 in Divorce

Marriages begin full of love, hope and desire. The drive to take care of each other for better or worse is alive and well. However, over time, the unfortunate realities of life may settle in and start to pry out those happy feelings, replacing them with stress.

A couple rarely wakes one day wanting to divorce. As the divorce rate hovers a little over 50%, the reality is that the stress that couples must endure through the years may wear down even the strongest allies. Becoming familiar with some of the common marital stressors that lead to divorce may help in getting you through.

Finances

For many years, couples going through a divorce claim that their biggest stressor is money. There are varying reasons for this top contributing factor to the decision to separate. In some instances, one spouse resents that the other is more successful and adds more to the bank account. On the flip side, in other couples, one spouse may feel too much pressure to make all the money while the other spouse makes little or none. In marriages where one spouse stays home with children, the money woes may flop back and forth between the two.

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