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San Antonio Family Law Blog

Coping with your grief following divorce takes time

DivorceSome people are absolutely thrilled to get divorced -- but most people experience real grief at the end of their marriage, even if it was a short one.

The end of a marriage generally represents the end of all the dreams you built up of life with that person -- and entire future that suddenly vanishes before it could ever become a reality. It also leaves you with a mixture of memories that are both good and bad times with that person and a history that has a real emotional impact on your way of being as you move forward.

What's up with Millennials and divorce?

Millennials.pngMillennials are a generation of people who seem to have learned from the mistakes of others -- and that's probably why the divorce rate is declining.

Here's how these "children of the modern age" approach marriage differently than their parents and grandparents did:

Avoiding the 'Disneyland Dad' syndrome

DisneylandDad.jpgWhen you got divorced, you probably promised yourself that despite your busy schedule that made it impossible for you to handle equal custody of the kids that you wouldn't be one of those "Disneyland Dads" who swept in on the odd weekend for a great time -- then turned the real parenting over to your children's mother.

Unfortunately, it can be easier to fall into that trap than you realize. When you feel marginalized when it comes to the kids, you want every moment with them to be positive, and that's hard to do if you're really parenting. It can be far sweeter to just shower them with affection and material things rather than deal with the awkward, painful reality of moody, exasperating and sometimes, frustrating kids.

What happens when a divorce is contested?

What-happens-when-a-divorce-is-conteste.jpgYears ago, if you wanted a divorce, one spouse had to prove that the other spouse had done something worthy of divorce in the eyes of the law. That trapped a lot of unhappy couples in marriages that one or both no longer wanted.

Today, since Texas is a "no-fault" divorce state, you can't be trapped in an unhappy marriage just because your spouse doesn't want a divorce. That doesn't mean, however, that every divorce will go smoothly. Many divorces are contested on one or more grounds.

How to determine the length of your divorce proceeding

how-to-determine-the-length-of-your-divorce-proceeding.jpgDivorce can be a messy process. That is why couples pursuing divorce would do well to look into various services that can help them come to a more amicable agreement. For example, one Texas woman offers co-parenting classes to couples. Even though Texas courts do not mandate such classes, they can provide a major benefit to former spouses. 

Another major consideration before heading into divorce involves knowing how long the proceedings will take. Each case is different. Some couples can finish everything in a few months, while other couples will be in court for over a year. There are various factors to look at to figure out how long you can expect to debate with your spouse until you settle everything. 

Study: Student loans are wrecking marriages

student-loans.jpgMoney can often lead to marital conflicts. However, a new study indicates that one specific money woe -- student debt -- is bringing a lot of young couples to their breaking points.

According to a study from Student Loan Hero, student loan debts seem to be particularly toxic to marriages. Money trouble was generally cited as a contributing factor in a third of all divorces -- while student loans were specifically blamed by one out of eight divorced borrowers.

Don't allow your visitation rights to be eroded

iStock-1038578108.jpgWhen you and your spouse divorced, you agreed to some pretty specific terms for custody and visitation with the kids. Unfortunately, your ex-spouse seems to feel pretty comfortable about bending -- or outright breaking -- the rules whenever he or she feels like it.

While an occasional deviation from the formal agreement can be fine when ex-spouses agree on it, and a genuine mistake or accidental slip-up can be forgiven once in a while, you don't have to allow your ex-spouse to simply ignore the rules whenever it suits him or her.

How do you protect your business from divorce?

How do you protect your business from divorce?If you own a business (or are about to start one), you need to think about the possibility of divorce and how that could damage your enterprise. There are ways to protect your company -- but the sooner you act the better.

If you're nowhere near a divorce right now

Thinking about divorce? Ask yourself a few questions first

Thinking about divorce?The decision to divorce is, arguably, a much harder decision than the one you made when you got married. When people decide to get married, they're full of optimism and dreams of a future together. When they're contemplating divorce, they tend to be keenly aware of what feels like "wasted time" and the loss of their dream life.

So, are you really ready for a divorce? Should you stay a little longer and give things one more try? Here are some questions you need to consider before you decide to divorce:

Accolades & Achievements

Brandon, Karen, Michael, Megan and Laura Are Proud To Have Achieved The Following Legal Accolades for Exemplary Legal Service.

*Karen Marvel was recognized in Texas Monthly in 2008-2019 as a Texas Super Lawyer by Texas Super Lawyers (a Thomson Reuters service)

**Karen Marvel is Board Certified in Family Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization