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2 things grownups do during a divorce


If you’re in the middle of a divorce, you may be tempted to build a blanket fort and hide until it’s all over — but you can’t. It’s time to deal with the situation like a grownup.

What does that mean? Experts suggest taking the following approach to life during divorce:

1. Learn to exert impulse control.

This idea covers a lot of problem behaviors that people fall into during tough times — behaviors that can only end up hurting you. Put any self-destructive impulses you have in check for the duration and avoid the following things:

  • Don’t go wild with your credit cards. That debt will haunt you long after the divorce itself is over.
  • Don’t ignore your bills. You will need all that credit in the future as you start over. Make yourself deal with the bills in a timely fashion.
  • Don’t quit your job. This could destroy your chance at child custody because you can’t supply a stable home without a stable income.

Basically, before you commit to a course of action, ask yourself how you’ll feel about it if you have to explain your decision to a judge in court — because you might have to do just that.

2. Keep your vices under wraps.

Everybody makes mistakes — but you don’t want to have yours held up to scrutiny during your divorce. Whatever has happened in the past during your marriage, it’s time to be on your best behavior during your divorce. That means don’t do any of the following:

  • Engage in public displays of anger or rage at your spouse, including online. That could be used to show that you’re dangerous and earn you a restraining order.
  • Damage your spouse’s property, including things that you half own. Don’t key the car, burn the furniture or sell the car until the court tells you what is fully yours.
  • Get drunk in public. The last thing you need on top of a divorce and a custody battle is a public intoxication or (even worse) a drunk driving charge.
  • Start a new relationship. Put your romantic life on hold until your divorce is over. That’s another potential complication in a custody battle you don’t want as your choice of partner is scrutinized.

Keep in mind, the less you do to aggravate the situation, the faster you’ll get through your divorce.

Source: HuffPost, “Adulting 101: Divorce Edition,” Christina Pesoll, accessed March 07, 2018

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