Have you been struggling with the question of divorce? How do you know when it’s time to give it up and move on with your life instead of trying harder?
There are several different signs that can give you that answer:
You understand the consequences and are ready for them
Divorce doesn’t mean just accepting the end of your marriage, it means accepting the end of your life as you currently know it. Your entire lifestyle — from your relationship with your friends to where you live — will likely change as a result of the split. If you can’t see yourself “making it” on your own, you aren’t ready for a divorce. On the other hand, if you have a clear exit strategy and prefer a clean slate rather than staying stuck as you are, you’re ready.
You are thinking about divorce even when you aren’t fighting
It’s one thing to question your marriage’s viability when you’re angry and hurt. That’s natural. However, if you find yourself thinking about divorce dispassionately, in a detached fashion, even when things are otherwise okay, you’re probably recognizing that the marriage has been on life support for a while.
You’re ready to be alone
A bad marriage can be worse than being alone because of the emotional drain that it causes. If you would rather wake up to face each day alone than continue being emotionally and physically drained by the relationship you’re in, you’re ready to talk about a divorce.
You lack either the ability or desire to rebuild
The odds are good that your relationship has fallen apart by bits and pieces. Even if your spouse had an affair, something was creating a void in your marriage that allowed that affair to happen. Look at the marriage and honestly assess your ability — and desire — to rebuild it. If you know that you don’t have one or the other, it’s time to move on.
If you’ve been contemplating divorce and you recognize these signs, then it’s time to take the next step. Continuing to delay the inevitable is likely to lead to more hurt feelings and conflict, not resolution. Consider talking to an attorney about your options.